Foreshadowing means telling the child what is going to happen later or what is about to happen, in a non-threatening way.  Foreshadowing is a critical step in communication for many children. Children at this age often feel very insecure if they don't know what is happening ahead of time.   For example, “We’ll have about ½ hour at the park.  You probably will have time to do each thing a couple times, and then we’ll leave” or "5 more swings and then we will leave."

Though it is good to start using minutes to give your child a sense of time and teaching him numbers, sometimes it is much easier to save those descriptions for occasions when he is more likely to accept the transition – and he’ll learn it better when he is anticipating the ending of the allotted time rather than dreading it. 

When you are telling your child how long something will take, be as specific and accurate as you can.  Ideally, for children to start getting a sense of time, “5 minutes” should mean exactly that – not, “until you get my attention in some way” or “until I finish my conversation with my friend”.  If that is what you mean, say it. Some children find an egg timer in a visible location very helpful in allowing them to judge how much time is left at a finer detail.

For difficult transitions, quantify time in a manner that is easy for the child to see, understand, and to predict.  For example, “5 more times” or “When I’ve cleared all the dishes off of the counter”.

For children that are sensitive to change, foreshadowing is best done in advance and then repeated right before the transition.  This gives them time to internalize the transition before it happens.  Don’t worry if they disagree.  With my son, the first couple of times I told him something would happen, he would say, “No it’s not”, and I would say, “Hmmm”, and let it go.  However, when the time arrived, he usually cooperated because he was expecting the transition.

Around this age, my son and I started a tradition called, “Talk about our day”.  Each night at bedtime, we would review what happened that day, and then I would tell him in as much detail as I could what would be happening the next day, week, or even weeks in advance for big events like vacations.  (I quickly learned to put caveats on events I wasn’t sure about).  Of course, events didn’t always go according to plan, and he learned to adapt to changes in his own time.

Lisa Stroyan